Honest opinions on having kids

  • Last Updated:
  • Mar 26th, 2020 10:21 am
[OP]
Newbie
Jul 12, 2019
16 posts
30 upvotes

Honest opinions on having kids

Wife and I are really debating whether or not we want to have kids. Realistically neither of us really want kids but are worried about possible regret and we just always thought we would.

I've been reading a lot about living a childfree life and much to my surprise most studies and what have you point to childfree couples/people being happier than those with kids.

I've talked to people at work about this and it's always the same thing..so much stress, money issues, never sleep..then they throw in "but it's all worth it!". Is it really? Or is that what people are trying to convince themselves?

Anyways would just like to hear some thoughts.
127 replies
Deal Expert
Aug 22, 2011
30923 posts
16702 upvotes
Ottawa
MrDurka wrote: Wife and I are really debating whether or not we want to have kids. Realistically neither of us really want kids but are worried about possible regret and we just always thought we would.

I've been reading a lot about living a childfree life and much to my surprise most studies and what have you point to childfree couples/people being happier than those with kids.

I've talked to people at work about this and it's always the same thing..so much stress, money issues, never sleep..then they throw in "but it's all worth it!". Is it really? Or is that what people are trying to convince themselves?

Anyways would just like to hear some thoughts.
Yes to all of the above.
You'll know once you have your own.
Deal Fanatic
Dec 5, 2006
6128 posts
1653 upvotes
Markham
Those so called happier childfree couples will be super lonely when they are getting old. There is always trade off

It's better exhausted when you are young than being lonely when you are old(this is a bit selfish lol)
Deal Guru
User avatar
Sep 21, 2010
12599 posts
3179 upvotes
Montréal
Already some defensive replies lol.

Anyway, no one can answer but yourself. You either like kids or you don't. I think having them so you won't be lonely before you die is silly. The real reason should be that you like them, period, not as some security blanket, failsafe device.
The richest 1% of this country owns half our country’s wealth, 5 trillion dollars, one-third of that comes from hard work, two-thirds comes from inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons, and what I do.. <find the rest>
Sr. Member
Mar 24, 2015
972 posts
343 upvotes
Ottawa, ON
My husband and I had a great time together before we had them in our early 30s. Now that we have them, I can't imagine my life without them. The bond I have with our kids is not something that I can explain. There are a lot of things that make it worthwhile for us, like sitting at a table eating together, playing games together, watching my husband teach our sons soccer, my son asking me if he can help me cook, watching them perform at school and being amazed even if the show sucked, the funny things they say, I could go on. I watch my great grandmother and see how happy she is being surrounded with all her kids, grand kids and great grand kids. When I get old, I'd rather be surrounded by family than having no one. But even having kids doesn't guarantee they will be around...
MrDurka wrote: Wife and I are really debating whether or not we want to have kids. Realistically neither of us really want kids but are worried about possible regret and we just always thought we would.
If you are already thinking about regretting not having them and if you always thought you would, then chances are you both will regret it. The couples I know that don't have kids never wanted them and never even thought about having them. I know people who also waited until it was too late. It's a hard reality that as you get older, it's a lot more difficult.
Deal Guru
User avatar
Sep 21, 2010
12599 posts
3179 upvotes
Montréal
This always comes to mind whenever these discussions appear. Save the environment! LOL.
The richest 1% of this country owns half our country’s wealth, 5 trillion dollars, one-third of that comes from hard work, two-thirds comes from inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons, and what I do.. <find the rest>
Sr. Member
Nov 17, 2014
857 posts
625 upvotes
Ontario
vkizzle wrote: Yes to all of the above.
You'll know once you have your own.
The whole "It sucks but it's worth it" thing is classic cognitive dissonance.
Deal Guru
User avatar
Sep 21, 2010
12599 posts
3179 upvotes
Montréal
Copper1212 wrote: The whole "It sucks but it's worth it" thing is classic cognitive dissonance.
I remember a similar thread, only 1 brave soul admitted regretting having kids.
The richest 1% of this country owns half our country’s wealth, 5 trillion dollars, one-third of that comes from hard work, two-thirds comes from inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons, and what I do.. <find the rest>
[OP]
Newbie
Jul 12, 2019
16 posts
30 upvotes
ckay1980 wrote: My husband and I had a great time together before we had them in our early 30s. Now that we have them, I can't imagine my life without them. The bond I have with our kids is not something that I can explain. There are a lot of things that make it worthwhile for us, like sitting at a table eating together, playing games together, watching my husband teach our sons soccer, my son asking me if he can help me cook, watching them perform at school and being amazed even if the show sucked, the funny things they say, I could go on. I watch my great grandmother and see how happy she is being surrounded with all her kids, grand kids and great grand kids. When I get old, I'd rather be surrounded by family than having no one. But even having kids doesn't guarantee they will be around...



If you are already thinking about regretting not having them and if you always thought you would, then chances are you both will regret it. The couples I know that don't have kids never wanted them and never even thought about having them. I know people who also waited until it was too late. It's a hard reality that as you get older, it's a lot more difficult.
And that time frame would be great but at some point your kids are going to want nothing to do with you when they become teenagers. And then you have to shift into making them productive members of society. This is another concern of ours. There is a sweet spot in there, say 3-11, that I think we would truly enjoy, but the rest I'm not so sure.
Deal Fanatic
Dec 5, 2006
6128 posts
1653 upvotes
Markham
MrDurka wrote: And that time frame would be great but at some point your kids are going to want nothing to do with you when they become teenagers. And then you have to shift into making them productive members of society. This is another concern of ours. There is a sweet spot in there, say 3-11, that I think we would truly enjoy, but the rest I'm not so sure.
Being parents, your biggest achievement is they are more successful without you.

They are independent human being, not your pets
Sr. Member
Nov 17, 2014
857 posts
625 upvotes
Ontario
smartie wrote: Being parents, your biggest achievement is they are more successful without you.

They are independent human being, not your pets
That's assuming they are more successful than you though. They could just as well turn out to be total failures in life. I know many people with kids in their 20s who sit at home and play video games all day.
Deal Fanatic
User avatar
Jan 11, 2008
7432 posts
888 upvotes
GTA
This isn't really a question anyone can answer for you. They can explain their experiences and how they feel, but what really matters is how you and your wife feel about having kids. Only you will be able to come to the right answer for you.

For me, I wouldn't change it for the world. Yes, there is lack of sleep, some stress and it is definitely a life changing experience. In our case it took several years and medical assistance before we were fortunate enough to have a child. Everything has been worth it and I can't imagine life without my daughter. Not a single regret over any of the lost sleep or different stresses in life as a parent. It's the best part of my life.

Whether or not it is something that is right for you and your wife can only be answered by the two of you.
When your mind says give up, hope whispers "one more try"
Never say never
Temp. Banned
User avatar
Feb 28, 2005
3169 posts
1183 upvotes
Montreal
ok ok OP just have kids already! ??

You can have kids now.
Maybe not in the future.
There’s always time for regret.

This may sound [...], but I’d rather have regret AND have kids, than being lonely.
Loneliness is truly the worst, in my opinion.
Last edited by Mars2012 on Feb 21st, 2020 10:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: don't use that term
Client at: Tangerine, VoIP.ms, Virgin Mobile
Deal Guru
User avatar
Feb 24, 2007
14056 posts
2198 upvotes
Image

They help you keep the house clean.
Deal Expert
Aug 22, 2011
30923 posts
16702 upvotes
Ottawa
Copper1212 wrote: That's assuming they are more successful than you though. They could just as well turn out to be total failures in life. I know many people with kids in their 20s who sit at home and play video games all day.
You should meet new people.

Top
7073彩票地址 868彩票开户 689彩票邀请码 7073彩票网址 7072彩票开户 963彩票开户 6d彩票开户 7073彩票注册 66顺彩票总代理 8炫彩彩票app